Ahmad Irfan

Mummy, you were only a child, this was the only life you knew and played in except grandpa was rolling life’s dice with drugs.

I was confused about what even was a "halfway house". All I knew was that grandpa needed to live there before returning to us. It was only much later when I listened to your stories that I began to piece your experiences together. You were only 10 when the weight of the world was too much for your tiny, little innocent feet. At 10, when children ran and played in the playgrounds, running with bubbling laughter under the bright sun, you were confined indoors. Not because you wanted to, but your dad could not keep his mind and body steady enough for you to look up to him as a father. At 10, you wanted to play with the other kids but saw your dad playing with white snow that you believed was candy.

While my mother's story is personal, it reflects a broader issue affecting many children. In the US, more than 8 million children live with parents who regularly abuse drugs (Lander et al., 2019). Although Singapore does not provide statistics like the above, we cannot discount the many children who live such experiences. The impact of parental drug abuse on family dynamics is profound, leading to a higher likelihood of emotional and behavioural problems among children (Finan et al., 2015; Hussong et al., 2010, as cited in Lowthian, 2022). Unfortunately, they may not break the cycle and end up following their parents into a life of degeneration with drugs (Ministry of Home Affairs, 2021). This disruption often leaves a constant void of a healthy attachment with their parents. The lack of parental love can reinforce a child’s beliefs that they are not worthy of such love and may cause the child to exhibit behaviours that we would consider delinquency or callousness. In reality, a parent’s love can tame the tempest within a child. These children are not just mere statistics in the fight against drugs, they are children with a whole life waiting for them. They deserve to be uplifted and not torn down by circumstances beyond their control.

To fully grasp the impact of parental drug abuse on children, it is essential to consider Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), which are traumatic events in childhood that include abuse and household dysfunction (Richardson, n.d.). For instance, having a parent who abuses drugs adds a point to a child's ACE score. Given the dysfunctional reality of these children, their ACE scores would increase significantly as drug abuse is often linked to neglect and other household dysfunction (Kuppen et al., 2020). Over time, this prolonged trauma can lead to a cascade of issues from health to education, and socioeconomic prospects.

As a result of this constant stress and trauma, these children are likely to grow up with a lifetime of depressive episodes that can eventually lead to suicide attempts (Anda, 2018). Furthermore, they are likely to experience worse health outcomes such as an increase in heart problems and diabetes.

Physical health is not the only area in life that takes the blow from drugs; the long-lasting effects of a dysfunctional family due to drug abuse create an environment that hinders these children from excelling in other aspects of life, such as academic performance. For instance, children of drug abusers often face conduct problems and disciplinary issues in school, which can result in suspensions, further impeding their educational progress (Lowthian, 2022). Their issues in schools do not just stop there as these children are also likely to view themselves as average or below-average students, a reflection of the low self-esteem fostered by their home environment (Lowthian, 2022). Though we may see the above as individual problems, parental drug abuse can disrupt a child’s life which can cause a plethora of issues.

As the twig is bent, so grows the tree. A child is a reflection of their parent’s upbringing. Sow their childhood with love and care and watch their precious flourish in life. However, as this essay has shown, life rears its ugly head on the innocent. The dwindling mercurial highs of drugs are not worth the lifetime of lows their child faces. I would like to think that after all these years my mother has gotten over her father’s constant relapses, but I know that the girl within her knows she deserves a better life. A life away from the bitterness of her younger days, and perhaps a true chance to reconnect with her father.

Wherever my grandpa is now, I pray that he finds peace after all these years.