A daughter's story

Ayesha’s* Story

“I don't have a lot of happy memories growing up,” 29-year-old Ayesha says.

Ayesha’s father came from a family of drug abusers and had himself already been in and out of the Drug Rehabilitation Centre (DRC) several times.

Although Ayesha’s father had been in the DRC during her infancy, the earliest memory Ayesha has of him being arrested was when she was in kindergarten.

“There were policemen looking all over our house for drugs,” she remembers, “I was wondering why they were in our home. Then they took my dad away in handcuffs while our neighbours watched.”

Ayesha didn’t realise her father had spent a year in DRC until a few years later, when her cousins explained everything.

“I was confused, because I thought [the DRC] was where bad people went,” she says, “And they answered, ‘Yeah, because your father is bad.’”

Besides caring for two young daughters, Ayesha’s mother was working full-time to keep the household afloat. She was financially stretched to her breaking point.

As soon as she was old enough, Ayesha turned to tutoring, waitressing, and working as a sales assistant so she wouldn't have to ask her mother for pocket money and cause her more stress. Ayesha worked every day, including full days on weekends.

Ayesha’s father was arrested again when she was 16.

“I was very angry with him because it was my O-levels,” she continues, “Why did I have to deal with an absent parent? I just wanted to focus on my studies.”

This time, Ayesha’s father served 16 months in a DRC. Upon release, he apologised to her.

“My father’s drug abuse has had a catastrophic impact on my relationships,” Ayesha says. Growing up without much love and care, she developed an anxious attachment style, fearing rejection and abandonment.

These days, Ayesha’s relationship with her father is polite albeit distant.

“He calls me and my sister ‘princesses’ all the time and gifting us jewellery,” she says, “It's his way of seeking forgiveness for his actions, I guess. I thank him but wearing them would be like erasing the past.”

Really, you don’t wear anything he’s bought you? Ever?

“Nope,” she beams, extending her jewelled wrists and hands, “these are all my own.”

Instead, her father’s gifted pieces remain unworn in a Beauty and the Beast-themed case.

Am I The Jewel Of Your Eye?

For Ayesha, this case – and the jewellery it contains – is a symbol of her father’s recovery and return, after his struggles with drug addiction through most of her childhood. Today, he may shower her with these gifts, and sweet names like ‘Princess’, but rebuilding their relationship will take time. It’s probably why Ayesha hasn’t yet worn any of the jewellery that he’s gifted her.

*Not victim’s real name.