A brother's story

Dean’s* Story

52-year-old refrigerator technician Dean grew up the sixth of seven children in a tight-knit family.

Of all his siblings, Dean is closest to his older brother Safari, who is a recovering drug abuser.

Safari began drinking and taking drugs at a young age, and frequently disappeared for days or even weeks at a time. He has been in and out of drug rehabilitation centres (DRCs) and jail so frequently to the point where Dean says he has lost count of his brother’s sentences; Safari’s family would often only discover his incarcerations through official letters.

“My mum never gave up and always visited him,” Dean says, “I followed her the first time he was arrested.”

Safari’s drug abuse broke his family members’ heart. “We were all very sad and asked ourselves, ‘He’s a good guy. Why has he ended up like this?’” Dean says. Their mother cried over him constantly; Dean describes Safari as “the apple of my mum's eye” for his helpfulness with chores, laundry, and cooking.

Once when Dean was visiting his elderly father in hospital, he found him crying. “I asked him what was wrong, and he said, ‘I miss him,’” Dean says, “I never told Safari about that.”

One night, when Dean arrived home late and found Safari asleep on the couch, he was overwhelmed with sadness: “Because I loved him so much, I wanted to scream, ‘What can I do for us to just be like a normal family?’ That’s what I’ve been through.”

In 2012, Safari was arrested at home for the first time.

He was sleeping as usual on the floor of his mother’s bedroom, where she would listen to the radio in the evenings and sew pillowcases and other soft furnishings for her loved ones.

The family believes that the shock of witnessing Safari’s arrest was a massive blow to their mother’s health. A few months later, she had a stroke and became largely homebound until the end of her life.

The incident was a turning point for Safari, who finally overcame his drug addiction in 2016.

“Every release, we would pray for it to be his last,” Dean says, “and he really did change this time.”

With a strong family support system and rehabilitation, Safari has stayed drug-free since. His family’s faith in him is stronger than ever.

“From what he has shown us, we trust him completely,” Dean says, “He’s more positive and confident of himself now, a totally different person from before.”

In retrospect, Dean describes drugs as a “monstrous, dark snake” that almost killed Safari. “It can take away a loving guy like my brother for 30 years,” he says, “30 years of drug abuse and only 20 years of family time is not a life.”

Wishing For A Stitch In Time

For Dean*, this sewing kit is a reminder of his mother's enduring love for his brother, Safari. Despite Safari's repeated arrests and rehabilitation stints due to drugs, the resilient mother never stopped loving him, and instead channelled her pain to embroidering gifts for the family.

*Not victim’s real name.